Sunflower//blackaged

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Did CIP for 2 hours on Friday at Toa Payoh.
Haha, much to my surprise, it was pretty fun.
Well rejection sucked, but hey, it was good experience!
Street sale beats sorting books in the library la!
Who the hell said street sales was boring and sorting bok in the library would be better?!
Oh right. Lee Ho Jung.
Oh. The committee is all Ex-cedarians!
hahaha.
Felt a bond so it was kinda easier to communicate in some way.
They were so full of crap.
hahah.

I clocked in 4hrs of CIP hours!
Yay!
in a weekend!
I think I'll end up addicted to street sales or smth
I felt weird walking on the streets w/o the tin and the notebooks and lecture pad after my shift was over.
Just one thing. I am sick of Toa Payoh.

---
FUCK YOU TO HELL.
I finish my homework already.
I went out and did my CIP.
I used the comp for 15 mins.
You come in and diao me.
Whats your effing problem.
You cut my rubberband.
Now what you want me to use to school??
Meimei and me both thinks you literally have a loose screw up there.
The reason I dread going home is you. The reason we lose our interest in studies is you. The reason i keep thinking of $$$ and nothing else is you. The voice I hate. The face I hate.
I have hate-love r/s with you.
Not love-hate take note.
I'm forced to love you.
cos of the bloody word.
the bloody F word.
6 letter word.
That associated me and you.
Go ahead.
When you see Ms Chin, I'm all ready to get hit at that instance she starts talking.
And I'm ready to make a din.
On how much fuck you spend on gambling. legally.
And make me worry about the amount of bills we're gonna have for the mth.
or maybe, red bills.
And bloody spend 5hours a day during holidays trying to find way on how to make money online.
Go to a forum, and book a job slot for Nov/Dec holidays.
Go to contest websites, trying to bloody hell win a cash prize or smth.
Trying to get customers for my blogshop.
you think I enjoy doing that?
I can't do anything i love anymore.
If I watch videos, I have to do it discreetly.
Like when you are not home or mute it.
You think I spend all my time of Korean shows?
To hell with you.
I spend 10hrs online.
9 hours are for money issues.
30mins to find cip opportunities.
15mins to read news online.
15 mins to read entertainment news so i wouldnt be lost when my friends talks about it.
At most i watch half an hour of korean shows.
And you always just happen to see me watching that 5-15mins everytime.
Thank you,
For teaching me never to save. Cos it will of no use one la.
Lets just spend it on the chocolate cakes we dun mind not eating.
Even if I pick up 5 cent on the ground i will over the moon.
You know?
I cry myself to sleep, thinking about the things mummy have to put up in the office while you stay at home making a din about how MapleStory can't start up, thinking about the times you flare and hit us, the pain Mummy and lil sis had to endure.
I will gladly take it all for them.
If only you could be okay with it. The more I intercept and oull you away from hurting, the harder you will hit on them.
So what you are telling us to do? Leave you to be.
Lil sis must cry a shriek of help to make you stop for awhile.
And not only that.
You think only we get hurt?
Your blood pressure? You think I dun care?

왜.
왜?
왜??
왜???

I wish I knew korean swear words.
Like Hankyung. keke.
Cos thats what Heechul teaches him first and foremost.

It's so..relaxing.. 6:57 AM